I`ll be complete

This day, of all days, actually gave me the chance to open my eyes to the person I  have been. I really didn't expect to become this way. 
I guess no one really knows how they end up anyway. Against all odds, we probably end up the way we are supposed to. 
There may be a hundred regrets and thousand what-ifs,but they are all secured in their tight placements.I firmly believe we are where we are destined/supposed to be. 

But I still wonder.. If one situation in my life were changed, will everything still be the same? Will I be a better person or a person who has reached her worst peak? 
I really don't know. I've wondered for answers,but I think everything leads to one page. And that's the kind of life we live in right now. 


How about the people in our lives? Why do some people have to leave and disappear from our life? Will our life be a happier one if certain people never left our sides? Or do some people really leave because they no longer have a role to portray in our life? We no longer need them. Is that so? I don't really want to lose anyone. That's just the most painful thing ever. But I guess, we grow a lot from people we lose. From them, we learn that nothing lays constant all the time. Something always has to go away to let us learn our lesson to never take anything for granted. It may be really painful, but in the end, we'll be thankful. 


It's a world of chances and changes. We get our chances, but we all experience changes. We must learn to accept the flow of the world in order to successfully grow. Grow emotionally. Grow intellectually. Grow mentally. Grow physically. Grow spiritually. 


Everything we experience leads to the betterment of ourselves, only if we condition ourselves that we get through no matter what. We must believe everything is for our own good. 


I've experienced both pleasant and bad, and I guess I'll be complete soon enough. 
I learned a lot. But I know I still have a lot to learn. 
I thank God for everything. He never left me alone, and I know He'll always be there. 
I'll be complete. One day. 

Changes

Changes, never been good with change
I hate it when it all stays the same
caught between the gold and the game
Changes, never been good with change
I hate it when it all stays the same
caught between the cold and the waves
My heart beats up, again

Changes - Stars 

This song just sticks a simple relevance to me: changes will always be there, no matter how accustomed you may be to something. Change is inevitable. Change is good. Change can be bad. Change can destroy you. Change can make you a better person. Change can define you. But what really? I've been analyzing the true meaning of changes that suddenly appear. Changes that suddenly come when you've been finally enjoying your life. Changes that cut short everything you thought that'd last forever. Why must everything you have been used to suddenly break its usual flow? Why can't it stay the same since it's already making you the happiest person on earth? Just like what the chorus of the song is implying: "Changes, never been good with change" it's not been necessarily easy to adjust to change. It's like a huge shocker and you're still caught up with your past. You're still not ready to let go, but you have to. You have to adjust in to a new way of life. A fresh new lifestyle. It will never be just easy. It will take a lot of chances of letting your feelings out. You'll have to get used to a series of new procedures. Everything happens for a reason. And maybe those changes are a huge part for progress in our life. On a positive note, wouldn't everything else get boring when it's always the same? Maybe being a little adventurous wouldn't hurt. There'll be a whole new array of changes, and all you have to do is be thankful for them. Because in the end.. those changes will lead you to the path you've been really destined to go through. 

SERENDIPITY

In my unbiased opinion, I really think the best feeling in the whole word is SERENDIPITY. 
It's just how you get pleasantly surprised from an unexpected happening. Taken from a dictionary, "Serendipity" literally means: "The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident." 

Doesn't that just feel so great? Discovering something by an accident? Well, let's not say an accident, but rephrase it as "through an UNEXPECTED spur of the moment". I've had my own share of serendipitous moments in my life. I may not really concretely remember all of those treasured moments, but I have got one thing imprinted in my mind for sure, those moments have left me immensely happy and satisfied with so many good things life has to offer me. I may have gotten an incredibly bad day, but when something serendipitous happens, all those unfavorable happenings are instantly forgotten. It's just like you're cranky and penniless from a rough day at school, and you suddenly step on a penny that's just enough to get you your favorite ice cream, and coincidentally, you're exactly adjacent to your favorite ice cream shop. I know that sugar rush will get you in to happier thoughts and a temporary sense of satisfaction. It's also like wearing the wrong clothes for an event, but actually get compliments after. I guess it will not always be unfortunate happenings for us. We are not bound for series of unfortunate events. Every once in a while, we are bound to have our serendipitous moment to give us a sense of actual relief that no matter how destructive a situation is, there's always a good thing that'll suddenly appear to get us out of the hell hole. Even if we think how dire and lonely we think the world is, the world would not want us to have a bad relationship with it. It probably wants us to be happy too. I guess the best things in life aren't the expected ones, but those that are least expected, because they have the hugest effect on us. 

Alaska Young & Effy Stonem

Alaska Young and Effy Stonem are my kinda girls.

They have got a bad-ass view of life, and I adore that.

Alaska Young is from John Green's famous book which I really love, "Looking For Alaska" while Effy Stonem is from the British teen show, "Skins".

They're not exactly the best role models for me but they've definitely got something different and dark around them. Like a mysterious air exclusive to them. I don't necessarily adore how these two fictional characters are both self-destructive and filled with vices, but I adore how they're both intelligent and bad-ass at the same time. It's rare to find women misbehaving especially since society has formed them as demure and modest ones for centuries, but as they say "Well-behaved women rarely make history." These two girls give me the feeling that as long as you know your limits and never lose your self-respect, go for it. I'm not encouraging misbehaving in any way, but having the mindset that, "Do what you want, it's your life anyway. But make it worth to tell in the end."

Alaska Young is intelligent. Really intelligent. The type that's intimidating because she practically doesn't look like a smart alec but is one. She has a stack of books around her, and I just find myself like her. I love books. I'm a huge bookworm. Books have a way of making me happy and satisfied like nothing else in this world. Just because you're famed as a bad girl doesn't mean you do not have time to be on the good side enjoying the little things. She loves being the leader and she has the qualities of being the leader.

Effy Stonem may always be found as one with heavy and dark make-up. She looks kind of disheveled all the time but there's one thing I really like about her. She may present herself as a cold and unloving person, but I know deep inside her, she has too much love. She loves her family but fails to show it. She's always there for them and even for her own peers. I guess there's always a valuable side to any person.

I know they're both work of fiction, but I just love analyzing their characters in my own way. They've made a mark on me as historic fictional women but there's no way I'm entirely going to be like them.I'm still going to be my own person, but I can't deny, these two girls are one hell of a kind.

It`s 2012

It's 2012 and definitely, a lot of me has changed. I remember the last time I wrote an entry here was when I was 12, and really young.

Now, I am 14 and well equipped with a different aura. I cannot wholesomely say that I am mature, but compared to my 12 year old self, I definitely have matured.

High School has a way of changing things, but I take it positively and I actually love High School. It is the rare chance wherein you're old enough to do the stuff you weren't able to do in grade school and young enough to be free from some liabilities. Guess you have got to cherish these 4 years!